"The Mysterious Carl Weathers"  

Blog No.55
 

ATTN! We have discovered a humanoid male creature named 'Carl Weathers' if you know of him, please send us a holo immediately!

 

Recently, I was at work, simply filling out the usual forms: Pardons, arrests, request memos for Emperor Arrikzane to actually fill out his own paperwork, Protests against porgs being used as food, Requests for MORE porgs to be used as food, etc. 

 

All of a sudden, the doors to my office BURST open! A manfell to his knees and scrabbled across the carpet, towards me. As I stood to my feet, my guards leaped into the room and grabbed the man, hoisting him to his feet, as he shrieked out "I AM GREEF KARGA! I AM THE MAGISTRATE!" 

I was a little surprised by this. 

For one thing, this man was extremely light green and bald. This did not match the historical records of what High Magistrate Karga had looked like. 
The second issue was that Greef Karga died a long time ago. 

I held up my hand for silence. "What is going on?" 

 

"My dear Chancellor!" The green man gasped. "Tell your guards to release me! I am the magistrate and I bear news of the Mandalorian!" 

 

I exchanged bemused glances with my guards. "Um - thank you. Take him to the guest chambers and feed him. Also, send the medical Droid to check him over. We'll talk soon, uh - Magistrate."

 

They dragged him out and I sat down, perplexed. 
I tried to return to my work, but I could not get thoughts of this strange man out of my head (Not in THAT way!) What was wrong with him? Had he hit his head? Was he diseased? Why did he think he was someone else? 

 

Thankfully, by the time I was able to go to the guest chambers, the guards had news. The medical droid had run a complete test on the man and they had his identity. 

"His name is Carl Weathers. He is an entertainer down by the ports on Naboo. But recently he was in a minor ship crash. He was seen stumbling away. No doubt he hit his head and now thinks he's this magistrate." 

 

I felt relieved. At least we knew who he was and might help him. 
"Hello, sir." I said upon entering the room. "I understand that you are Carl Weathers."

 

He frowned and scowled at the ceiling. "I don't know that name."

 

"Nonsense, 'Carl Weathers' is a perfectly nice name. You should be proud of who you are. I have heard that you are a fantastic entertainer. Your impression of the Emperor is something to behold, I hear. And when anyone holds a party, who do they want to come and make people laugh? Carl Weathers!" 

 

"Hmph. I'm a magistrate."

 

I sighed. This wasn't working.

I left him alone for a bit and we're still taking care of him. However, he keeps trying to sneak into my office and do paperwork. I wouldn't mind, if he knew what he was doing, but he doesn't, really.

If anyone knows Carl Weathers, please come and get him! 

We hope he returns to his senses soon and then we'd love to hire him for the Emperor's birthday! We could use some entertainment.